Dear Dad,
I pray this letter of mine meets you in good health. I just had a strong sensation in my spirit to
This letter is like no other I have written in my life because it is a letter to you but its contents are about me and my realization.
Daddy, all my life I have convinced myself and others how difficult you are. How unrealistic and narrow minded you are, but, in truth, I have just been living out of purpose for so long. I would say my love for Marie (my wife) and our meeting was a divine conspiracy because this all began when I met her. Dad, I will begin by stating some (if not all) of the things you have continuously been ringing to us (your children) and to everyone.
First, you always used the phrase “YOU ARE HEADED TOWARDS…” Sometimes you would say you are headed towards failure or destruction and you would say you feel sorry for the person. Now I am 27 years old and I seem to get the whole point of this. Being 27 has been my golden age not because I am 27, but because at this age I found out the gold in life and that is wisdom, which can ONLY be found under the canopy of God’s authority.
In life, we all take paths and our paths ULTIMATELY determines our destinations. If we want to go to Limbe we need to take the road going through Ombe or through Bojongo from Buea because that path will make Limbe our destination. Even though our intention is to go to Limbe, our arrival solely depends on our path. Not even our prayers, beliefs and fasting can change that. Funny enough we know this principle and follow it strictly when we are traveling but this greatly applies to our lives, finances, careers, etc. However, when it comes to our lives we don’t follow the principle of the path. That is why as kids we all have high aspirations and hopes of what we want to be in the future. Those dreams are always extraordinary because as a child we never wish to be like everyone else but to be extraordinary. Yet we always end up like everybody else all because we don’t apply the principle of the path. We do things in our lives as we grow and think it is just a stage in life to have fun but no, it is not a stage in life but a path we are taking. Now, parents with their experience see this path we take and also see the destination but we (youth) don’t. That is where parenting becomes tough because just like me, Daddy, you had to make me (a teenager) with all my hormones pumping to see this. I did give you a hard time too. With this said I see why you used the phrase “YOU ARE HEADED TOWARDS…” all the time. And all the time the destination you predicted came to pass if the path of the individual wasn’t changed.
Another issue was the fact that you always insisted that if we make a meal, we should do it for everyone one. Back then, I thought it was for the good habit of sharing but instead it was all about the topic of “SELF-INTEREST”. At 27, I have noticed that self-interest is part of life. We all are after our own self-interest in life. For example, we get jobs for our own self-interest, which is different from the self-interest of the employer. But as Christians, in our walk with Christ, we have to sacrifice our self-interest. We even go as far as using God’s name and scripture for our own self-interest. Our self-interest has to be God’s interest for us. But we can’t live life without running into other people so if we make our self-interest to be that of others which should be fellowship in the spirit (as the Bible teaches) then our interest will always be to everyone’s good even if they are too naïve to know it. With this God will always meet your needs, that is why you have never lacked, Daddy, because you put yourself last and your interest is always about others and most of us were too naïve to know or see the bigger picture.
Daddy, you always told me to be quiet when I am been scolded and that was a tough one to take. That was the bitterest pill to swallow especially when I had done nothing wrong. But almost every chapter in the Book of Proverbs talks about “HE WHO FEARS REBUKE IS HEADED FOR DESTRUCTION”. Now rebuke is described in the dictionary as expressing sharp disapproval or criticism of (someone) because of their behavior or actions. Now the Bible doesn’t talk about if the person being rebuked is right or wrong but if they defend themselves from it, they will be headed towards destruction.
Daddy you spoke of a lot of things that right now I have to rush to work and time won’t let me continue. The magnitude of your sins doesn’t matter but rather the brightness of your repentance. That is why the Apostle Paul is remembered for the Gospel of Grace, which he helped spread rather than his past deeds of persecuting Christians. I am glad because with my faith in Christ, which grows everyday, I pray my brothers and the world see things from how Jesus wants us to see. I have always thought I could perform my way into heaven and assumed that my relationship with God depends on how life treats you. However, being a Christian is not the absence of storms in life but the awareness of Christ's presence and in those storms. To grow higher in the Kingdom of God is by going down (humility), a Christian is supposed to be someone whose loves for others, and selfless acts make others convicted but drawn (not judged). Sorry, it took me so long to finally get a little glimpse of what you wanted me to see. Even the glimpse I see is so overwhelming that I can't stop seeking.
Daddy, I know I have not become the man you want me to be but I will do my best to get there for the Kingdom. I am a work in progress, a poem still being written by the poet (GOD). I haven’t set the right example for my brothers and Junior and Ade and Victorine and the rest but I pray they come to realization as I did. I wrote to you Daddy to say sorry for making parenthood difficult for you and not trusting you for direction. Hope you forgive me. Thanks to God for making you play this role in my life. I have friends and relatives who have died without coming to this realization. I pray God forgives us all and let it not be too late for my brothers and sister back home.
God bless you Daddy.
PS: It was still difficult growing under you though Daddy.
*This letter was written to Chief Dr. Gabriel Ebanja aka ‘Little Jesus’ by his son Oscar Sona Ebanja who is studying in the US
